MoneyPeace Philosophy

Thoughts on Gratitude and Thanksgiving

Thoughts on Gratitude and Thanksgiving

Today as the world spins around us and so many events and circumstances are out of our control. We need to remember what we have to appreciate. Gratitude feeds our sense of abundance.

Maybe we have special memories of Thanksgiving or favorite foods or moments of gratitude.

Memories of favorite foods bring me smiles. One strong memory I have as a child is Nanie Sheehan cutting the turkey in our kitchen each Thanksgiving. She would threaten anyone who came around with a stern look and point of the knife to stay away. Then, she would slip my brother and I a piece of warm turkey and even the crispy bacon if we asked. Delicious and warm, the turkey pre-dinner treat made us feel special.

Only today as an adult do I reflect to why my maternal grandmother cut the turkey on a holiday at her daughter’s house. She was of course, the matriarch. But where was my Dad? My Dad was working. We always waited for him to get home to eat. He literally would walk in through the back door and head right to the dining room to sit at the head of the table - Nanie claimed the opposite head seat.

Over the years, Thanksgiving was not so special to me because my Dad worked. Years later, my sisters were nurses and would be working, too. Later, my brother worked holidays. Dinner together meant starting early and eating slow so whoever was finishing up work would get to share the table. For me, the longer I sat at the table, the more I would eat. And that was not such a good thing. More was not better. Their shift work meant so many shifts that I did not enjoy the meal.

Then, I tried to change my focus. One November, I pulled out the family slides that we had not all seen in ages. I coordinated with my Mom for this post dinner activity: Reminiscing of all the good past times we were together. An activity beyond eating! I even asked my cousin whose family was joining us to grab some of their slides and bring them along to share.

At peace from squabbles or cleaning or all to separate rooms, we were together. The laughter and memories filled the darkened room. Though my brother had to miss the event that first year, the rest of us appreciated the moment. And a tradition was born.

Thanksgiving fills me with not only gratitude but fond memories and thoughts of kindness and sharing. The reality is we may not be able to join with those we love because of death or distance, but we have options to share our gratitude to them and our appreciation for the blessings in our life.

I am grateful to those I love who built those memories Join me in thankfulness. Or a new tradition.

Take the time for the Attitude of Gratitude:

1. List three things and people to whom you are grateful today.

1.

2.

3.

Why not do ten?

The first things that come to my mind are the person who taught me to tell time and my cousin who taught me how to tie my shoe! You may have in mind your first baseball coach, your favorite college professor, or first employer.

2. Be spontaneous and call or write one person who impacted your life. Let them know you are thinking of them.

3. Create a Thanksgiving tale:

Tell others of something you are thankful for in your life – where you live, your friends, or a recent vacation. Start a conversation around the Thanksgiving dinner table about what they appreciate. With all that food on the table, there will be plenty of time to share gratitude.

Have a Peaceful Thanksgiving!

A special thank you to all those who work to keep us safe – the First Responders, Firefighters, Police Officers, Military members and those that keep us healthy – Doctors, Nurses, and Medical Staff. In addition, thanks to all those who labor to keep our world working, even on a holiday.

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Know Thyself As You Learn and Grow

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Our world is changing and so must we. Your first step, and mine, is to forgive yourself for past missteps – financial and otherwise.

These are stressful times. From a powerful election season to natural disasters, no one and nowhere is immune. This is also a personally challenging time for me.

At the beginning of the month, I got the message to slow down. A broken foot will do that.

In order to grow as human beings, we need to understand our reactions and tendencies. And accept our shortcomings while attempting to improve them. Much like I know I can be short with friends, family and others when I am stressed out – I know I make financial errors when I am busy, overwhelmed and lacking rest.

When I am so preoccupied that I may react without a kind or human touch, I apologize to those I have offended. Because I have learned what tendencies I have, I do it less today than twenty years ago. And correct quicker. When it comes to the fleeting mismanagement of money, I am disrespecting the person I most love and value – myself. And this happens when I am stressed, overcommitted or grieving.

When my finances go haywire, even for a fleeting month or two, I equally need to forgive myself and ask for help. Whatever the reason, I need to pause to give myself attention before I give my finances attention. Acknowledge and accept what happened.

I want to share my process to see if it helps you:

First, I take the time to process the underlying hurt and pain, then I can attempt to get track.

Next, I clear the air by understanding what I could do differently.

Then, I correct the situation with some attention, planning, and paperwork.

Have you made past financial mistakes? Or perhaps made decisions you wish you had not? Welcome to the club. You got this. I got this. Financial missteps is not an uncommon situation. You can fix it by looking internally, then understanding what happened and then move ahead.

All it takes is one step, one day at a time to improve any situation. Most importantly, put parameters in place to prevent it from happening again. I no longer go willy nilly and have piles of piles of bills paper or digitally adding up. I have stop gaps whether credit card limits or cash restrictions – one reason I love cash.

For me, clearly the message is slow down. When I take the time to stay present, I am much more organized and detailed oriented. My financial plans chug along smoothly. When I am busy and overwhelmed, I am thinking of the future and leave a trail of disarray. That may result in unpaid bills, overspending or unnecessary debt, despite my knowing better. I am human. We all are.

I know myself. I know finances. And I know some extra time invested will get me pack on track, as it will with you. Just clear the self-judgement and forgive yourself so you will be ready for the next step.

Keep on learning and growing. When it comes to finances, knowing yourself is first in the line of money management.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Learn as if you were to live forever.

- Mahatma Gandhi




Going Out Singing: Retiring

Olivia Mellan

Singing is a joy, a passion for Olivia Mellan. In college she loved being in plays and creating spoof songs. This coed came of age at a time of the Vietnam protests and women’s rights movement just as Ozzie and Harriet had wound down on television.  

The world of finance, was “A Man’s World.”  Facts and figures dominated. Investments and Wall Street were private affairs. Isolated from women and any discussions beyond the precise tangible numbers, there was no room for a conversation involving feelings.

Enter Olivia Mellan. She is the forbearer of a movement that tied together emotions and money.  She realized that no one had touched on money in the therapeutic process. And certainly financial professionals were not talking on the emotional level. There were some people whose only emotional reference around money was greed. 

She recognized that Money was the last taboo that therapists were talking about in their emotional exploration with clients. As a result, she instigated groundbreaking conversations in the field in Money Psychology. Money Psychology is the process of acknowledging your emotions interwoven with money in order to change behavior around finances to improve them. She felt that money needed to be part of the therapists’ conversation with their clients. 

After the success of an initial workshop, she realized she was on to something. More workshops followed as she incorporated the technique in her practice. Then, five successful books. 

She is a pioneer in tying two worlds together in a way that resonated for millions of her readers, listeners at her speeches and consulting clients. She is a professional through and through and built a career out of something new at a time before millennials and the internet. She knew from interactions with people, they were uncomfortable with money and needing a different approach.  

This was not on a planned career path, rather she has had a windy journey to this year. No one had heard of money psychology. Previous to 1982, the connection between emotions and money was not discussed or dissected. Olivia Mellan was in a PhD program for French and Linguistics and had not much interest in money.  

Yet this woman impacted me, other CFP’s and hundreds of thousands of readers of her books. I have recommended her work and books for years. Now I have had the privilege of knowing her for the past several years.  

Before Behavioral Economics became a subject in business schools, Olivia Mellan was there. How big a movement was she leading? She made it on Oprah before she had a book published. Need I say more?

Fast forward to 2018, Olivia Mellan is the groundbreaker of the connection of money psychology. She opened individuals and financial planners worldwide to the concept. She integrated two fields in a way that no other professional had.  

Now, she is retiring, leaving behind in her wake a new approach to money for the finance professionals, therapists and individuals around the world. The amazing thing is that she moved in a direction that felt right. Without a business plan or mentor to lead her, she studied, reflected and wrote on a topic that was ripe for research. Olivia was drawn to this because she recognized a space in the therapeutic process, which carried over into other areas of life.

What was that path that lead this theatre performer, creative singer and writer of spoof songs to move to the limelight of a new stage that brought with it bestselling books, Oprah appearance and presentations across the country? She credits two points in her life and two people’s support as the main motivators. And both were unplanned and unrelated to what her dreams and aspirations were.

As Olivia tells it, she had two defining moments in her career. The first as a doctoral student. Half way through her thesis writing, at a meeting with her thesis advisor, he suggested that she become a therapist.  She had finished all her course work. She had half her thesis done in French and linguistics.   

At age 27, she was willing to redirect herself and consider therapy as a career. That defining moment brought her to the place she needed to be. The decision meant more schooling, studying and starting at the bottom and not finishing her thesis that she had worked so hard on. She embraced it and followed her heart. After opening her practice, she always had a full schedule of clients. She had found her calling after taking a risk and huge leap.

Her second defining moment is the clarifying the concept that there was a need to discuss emotions and money therapeutically. Her friend, Michael Goldberg, said, “Money because money is the last taboo in the therapy office and life in general.” His words, as Olivia tells it, “created a lightbulb moment in my head where I realized in the therapy office there are ghosts of family members sitting all around the room – my ghosts and the clients ghosts.” Money is a part of life and subject important to address in therapy, not deflect. Her mission began knowing that “We as therapists should create a safe place to talk about this topic.”

She listened to her internal urging and her work began. This work was not only with clients but also delving deeper into studying the concepts and emotions around money.  

As a good student of developmental psychology, she credits nature and nurture to career choice and windy path there. She says, “I inherited a gene from my Dad – Do what you love and the money will follow. He was a judge and lawyer.” So by getting the gene and learning by her environment she knew what was most important.  

Her philosophy, also fitting her career, is “Trust the Process.” If a door closed, another one opened. Her PhD program almost finished, she bravely moved on. “The therapeutic work called out to me.” And the focus on money came soon after her career.

The process was organic and mysterious. That same organic process is at work as she leaves behind a career of 42 years. Some health issues, a move and surrounded by her loving husband, Michael who is retired, she decided it was time.  

How is she going out? The guild – her team of psychologists where she shares and grows and learns in DC are having a party for her. At their last meeting together, they suggested the party center on songs and music. Olivia has one request to Sing together some of the good old Leonard Bernstein tunes and oldies but goodies like “When you Wish Upon A Star.”  

The words may be changed to reflect the work of the life of a woman who impacted the world in a fine, subtle and yet powerful way. Frank Sinatra’s “I did it My Way” may be the song of the day.

Congratulations Olivia!

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Learn One New Thing Every Day!

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“Learn one new thing every day.” My Dad always said that and would ask at different times what we had learned. 

Today I want to share what I have been doing so that you have a range of choices – articles, podcasts and future speaking so you can learn more about how to create MoneyPeace.

Podcast:

I had the opportunity to be on Wes Moss’s Retire Sooner Podcast. We hardly talked about retirement! Instead, we covered a broad range of financial and emotional topics near and dear to my heart. When you have a few minutes or the full fifty minutes you can listen here.

Already a subscriber to his podcast? Listen for me on the July 11th program.

Financial Expert:

This month I was sought out as a financial expert. Catch my name and advice in print with these articles I was recently quoted in:

Monday Money Minutes:

Check out some of my Monday Money Minutes. They are available on my MoneyPeace Facebook page, at my blog or on Instagram. 

Articles

Of course, I have continued to write articles and offer these two – one for fun and one for your retirement planning consideration:

Getting Ready to Speak

I have been getting ready with research and updated presentation notes for my upcoming speaking gigs. In September I will be speaking for Financial Behavior Keynote Group on “The Art of Selling a Business.” 

I will also be travelling to Kansas City to speak on “Financial Wellness” for a corporate retreat.

Lifelong learning is underrated. May you continue to learn one new thing every day whether about personal finance, life or love. 

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Summer Time Ease May Lead to Abundance!

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Money is an inside job. How you feel matters. I have heard and read that extensively.

Abundance is a state of mind. When we know we are contributing to the world it is easier to feel abundant. All sorts of people experience this through their professional work or volunteering.

They know sometimes it is not the big trip, the expensive car or the once in a lifetime concert event. We can find joy in the simple. For me it can be found in nature, children, and time to play.

Yesterday, I had one of those peak experiences that make me feel more grounded, connected and valued. Abundance from the inside out. A mini reunion of sorts for college friends who enjoyed a day at the lake only a car ride away from home. We laughed. We ate. We drink an array of beverages. We reminisced just a bit. Mostly we reveled in the beauty of the day. I felt restored and blest.

This morning, I noticed how good I felt. I relived in the memories in my mind but knew there was something more brewing from the afternoon of leisure. I had been doing something because I wanted to …no reason, no talk of careers or chores or responsibilities. Simply appreciating the beautiful day and the company.

This made me think. I need more time to just play – whether for a day or afternoon or moment. In our goal-oriented world, that is often overlooked. I know that post-Covid, I have lost some of that spontaneity and openness. As adults we are encouraged to be responsible.

I feel lighter, thinner and happier based on the fun of yesterday. It was definitely a “Play Date” and made me want more play dates. Surrounding oneself in the energy and love and hugs of friendship. Plus the added nonsense of fun and connections. 

I am going on my own playdate this week. Grabbing my bike and going for a ride to nowhere.

Wealth and abundance and joy are inside jobs. What are you doing to take care of your insides? Here are some tips to feel abundant:

Start with what you have:

Be grateful for the little things of the day. The computer you are reading this on – even if it is borrowed or at the library. The clothes on your back.

Think when you are most happy: 

Make a list of activities, people you like to spend time with and activities that feed your spirit. Perhaps being in nature, playing sports, getting dressed up or enjoying movies bring you joy.

Do one thing this week because you want to;

not because you have to or because you need to take care of someone else. Spend a delicious frivolous moment or afternoon on you.

Notice how you feel the next day. 

Does it bring a smile to your face? A lightness to your step? Keep playing with these steps and ideas each day. 

When you value the flow of life, your abundance has more time to catch up with you.  

Enjoy your day!

Happy April Fool's Day!

Happy April Fool's Day!

I started on April Fool’s Day to remember to keep my sense of humor.  I also did not know if this whole business plan would work.  I certainly did not know thirty years later how my life, my work, and MoneyPeace would evolve.  I am so grateful to all you readers, clients over the years and other planning professionals who appreciate my approach to money.

 

This week, I was reflecting on  MoneyPeace history as part of a registration form with a speaker’s bureau. This was such a gift!  I am appreciative of all the places I have been and of those people who responded to my work.  I was reminded that I love speaking and am ready to do more. 

I do not know where I will be in thirty years. For today, I want to continue to write, speak and spread MoneyPeace.  So, watch for more blogs, articles, email newsletters and videos.

What I Learned from My Irish Family

The roots of my Irish heritage and money are complicated. In Ireland, coins were used for centuries. Often the coins represented reigning kings. In the twelfth century, the British took over and ruled Ireland. This included their money, their banks, and systems, imposing the English system.

The Irish learned not to trust the banks or the money that was used for exchange during the time of the British rule. Though valid currency, the system was English, the language was English and there were so many restrictions on the natives, that many natives were leery of using their banks. These feelings ran deep and settled in many a family over the generations even in an independent country. 

The Republic of Ireland became independent in 1921, leaving six counties in the north still part of England. In 1927, the Republic issued their own currency. That currency changed with the advent of the Euro in 2002.

Some of my relatives emigrated in the 1920’s and would have had money in the US banks when they failed during the depression. They lost their hard earned money, so the feeling carried down through the ancestors about money and financial systems are complex.

My ancestors learned from their experiences. (Yours did too.) I learned many things from what they had to live through on both sides of the ocean. They were an industrious, practical bunch. Land and homeownership were key to success. Even generations later, feelings around money can be complicated because of a “rich” history of happenings. Sometimes what were their experiences, though no longer relevant to me, make it into family lore. Sorting this all out adds a bit of complexity to what I really need to learn.

My profession is about creating solid quality of life while living in peace around your money. Although knowledgeable on the facts and US rules on the money and tax system, I was taught that there is more to life than money alone.

This is what I learned from my family:

  • Help Others: There is always someone who is worse off than you.

  • Buy Quality: From clothes to cars to home goods, be sure you buy value.

  • Repair It: Do not go and buy new, which takes money and hard work. Fix it.

  • Get Educated: From vocations, academics or a lesson in cooking, learning is invaluable.

  • Enjoy Music and Dancing: They are a fun release – and fun matters.

  • Maintain Community: Connections improve the quality of your life as well as your neighborhood.

  • Buy the Best Health Insurance: One cannot put a price on health.

We all learn consciously and unconsciously from our families of origin. We take away the good and the unhealthy financial habits. This month, ponder your roots and learning. What have you learned?

Picked up not good financial habits? Adapt and adjust. As adults, we can choose what we want to change.

Do one thing to honor your ancestors. I will be donating to an Irish charity.

What will you do?  Cook up something traditional. Create a family gathering. Simply connect with a family member.

Whether you are Irish, Spanish, Italian, Mexican, Canadian, Greek, a mix or a pure bred American, we are all human and survived thanks to the strong good character of our ancestors. Celebrate one aspect of your history this month.

Here is a bit of Irish music by The Chieftains: Will You Go Lassie Go (aka Blooming Heather; aka Wild Mountain Thyme)

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This CFP Wishes for My Loved Ones

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Dear Loved Ones,

There are many questions you have asked me over the years. Despite the fact I cannot give specific advice without knowing one’s full situation, many of your questions required one simple step. 

I never know if you did them or not. I care and am concerned that you are in good hands financially. I prefer you avoid a financial situation that could be fixed with a bit of pre-planning, rather than scrambling after the fact.  

I seldom hear the follow up. I care. And because we are friends first, I am not the professional you work with, I do not ask. 

Today I am wondering if:

Your Retirement Beneficiaries are Correct: 

Longtime partners told me, “Oh yeah, we never changed those from family members. But our families know who to give it to.” By law, the money goes to immediate legal family. If they chose to then pass it on to a partner, there are potential taxes that may diminish those funds. I hope you have designated your partner by now.  

Life Insurance Beneficiaries Updated:

A young recently married couple told me, “We were so busy with our wedding planning and honeymoon, we never updated our life insurance and company benefits. This will go to our spouse automatically now that we are married, right?” No, no, no. You need to make the changes on your policies and with your company. Easy enough to do today. Get on it.

You Have an Estate Plan to Match Your Current Life:

Our lives constantly change: we move, we have children, our assets grow, we have grandchildren, we marry. Too people many make major shifts and leave their former will in place. They often forget or do not understand that you need a recent Power of Attorney for your finances and Health Care Proxy. I do hope after you made the move out of state, you followed up with a new estate plan in your state of residence. 

You Have Assigned A Guardian for Your Children:

This is designated in your estate plan. Otherwise, their guardian many be your next of kin or appointed by the court. A legal guardian is responsible for the health and financial care of a child until “legal majority” in the state of residence. Be Kind to your children. Create a will with your wishes and a lawyer to carry them out.

You have Left a Paper Trail. Or Digital Trail:

Being in good financial shape with an estate plan and well organized records is great. If no one can find them when you fall ill or pass on, then they are of little use to the people who need them most. I hope by now you have told someone how to find your paper trail, making it easier on your loved ones at a dire time. 

Leave behind a legacy of love.

This CFP Wishes for My Loved Ones

My Valentine:

1. Have a Well Done Estate Plan, Have Peace of Mind

2. Have Cash to Offset Stress of Life Events

3. Review Your Investments Every year.  

Life changes. Have that balance of stocks, bonds, growth and value investments. Create an estate plan. Keep a cash account. Then you can weather any movements in life or the stock market

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What are Annuities?

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Question: “I just got an inheritance and a financial person suggested I purchase an annuity with $90,000. We were going to expand our home. I do want to be smart and do something wise for the long term with the money. What is an annuity? Is it a good investment?”

Christine’s Answer:

Good for you for wanting to learn about money.  

First, the annuity answer. An annuity is an insurance contract. There are many types and forms from fixed annuities to variable annuities which have an investment component. They are backed up the insurance company that sells them. If this financial person only suggested an annuity, then they may only sell annuities. Annuity is a product with a large commission for the sellers typically. If an investment person does not offer you more options, they may not be working in your best interests. 

Expanding your home sounds like an option, but do you have a financial plan? Use that inheritance wisely by consulting an objective financial professional first. You can meet with them on an hourly basis and they can evaluate if you have a safety account, how to manage any debt you may have and plan for your future. They can also further explain annuities and other options to best serve you. To contact one that does not sell products reach out to the Garrett Planning Network.

Once you are more educated you can decide your next steps.  

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How Can I Stop Spending Money?

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How Can I Stop Spending Money?

My number one tip is to create a spending plan. Choose ahead of time how you will spend your monthly income or other incoming money. This is a better way to think about your money than a budget, which I find is a limiting mindset. 

Do not shop in person or online or social media binge when feeling emotionally upset. We spend more when we feel bad. We also are less discriminating and more apt to make impulsive purchases thinking they will improve our life. Survey: 48% Of Social Media Users Have Impulsively Purchased A Product Seen On Social Media | Bankrate

If you are shopping: 

When buying on-line, put what you want in the shopping cart, but do not buy it. Or in a store, ask them to hold it for you. Sleep on it. After 24 hours, if you still decide you need it or if it is a want, you can easily afford it, then go ahead, and buy it. If not add it to a shopping tab for future spending when you get that raise, bonus or financial gift.  

Unlink your credit and debit cards to your favorite spending sites. Yes, you can do this. But you may have to delete it from your laptop and phone too. One click is too easy for all of us. (Yes, me too.) 

Do not be seduced by the latest best product on YouTube, Instagram, or any social media. These are advertisements. Realize that the sellers are spending big money to tout their product. They are making their money back by selling something to you. Some of what they sell is image and an improved lifestyle. An improved life is an inside job and taking care of your finances is one way to make a better life for yourself. 

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Economic Concerns for Your Attention

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Why am I concerned about the economy?  This country has a debt problem from government to individuals.  If we do not slow down and pay attention to how and where we spend money, the whole system could fall apart. 

As I always talk about financial self-care, I wanted to reiterate why it matters today. Financial change is happening everywhere, not just with the banks.  You can only control your part of the world but first learn what is happening and why that is more important than ever.

Here is what I am paying attention to with trepidation:

1.  Car loans are rampant with over 30% of people financing a car

People cannot afford transportation costs.  Given some may be buying more car than they can afford, but this is ridiculous to have so much debt out there for a depreciating asset. In addition, a greater number of people are defaulting on their car loans.

2. Credit card balances are high 

On average people have over $5,000 in credit card debt, worse, defaults are on the rise.

3. Savings are depleted

Remember all we were saving during lockdown?  Those accounts are dwindling.

4. Commercial office buildings mortgages delinquencies rise

With work from home movement and other changes, the rate is around 5% this year.

5. Traditional measures  

Employment looks strong, and inflation is stable by many reports; These positive measures are critical to a budding economy.  I believe they cannot stand alone without other financial factors which matter to each of us individually.

6. Rising interest rates  

The interest rate changes are affecting businesses and consumers on the loan side.  Sure, savers gain but see my list, # 3 above. 

7. Debt ceiling compromise was a temporary fix  

This issue will come to the forefront after the next election, or sooner.  Right now, the astronomical amount is easy to understand by calculating per US citizen is close to $7,100 each. 

8. War in Ukraine  

A country I am humbled to admit I couldn’t have found on the world map a decade ago is now in splinters and affecting global stability and peace.

Something is going to give.  Perhaps in the long run all will be well.  In the meantime, being prepared to ride out the fiscal downside is crucial.

I am not chicken little saying “The Sky is Falling” rather …

Instead, I’m encouraging living by the Girl Scout model of “Be Prepared.”

You have heard it before from me many times. This attitude is a product of my Girl Scout years and career. Stay financially sound with these five ways to be prepared for the unforeseen whether flooding, fires or economic downturns:

Five Steps to Maintain Your Prosperity Preparation:

1.     Create a safety savings.

2.     Live on less than you make.

3.     Check and cross check your insurance coverage.

4.     Be Prepared for downsides financially and with an estate plan.

5.     Enjoy the upside by living in the simple pleasures and appreciating what you have today.

 

Whatever you do, do not take money out of your long-term goal, like retirement, to fund your life now.  That will backfire in the long run, leaving you with less to live on in your older years.

Balance is key.

When you have the downside contingencies taken care of, you will be prepared for the worst.  Then, you truly will be comfortable appreciating and savoring the best.

Looking to read more about what the economy is doing? Here are some resources:

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Travelling Close

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Growing up, our house had regular visitors from overseas. My Irish relatives would typically descend in the summer and as a result, I would be on hand to be part of the entertainment. Truly, my parents were planning and executing the day trips. Typically my mother would take the actual trip and do the driving. As the youngest, I was along for each ride for many, many years. From Boston, Plymouth Rock was not far. Bunker Hill Monument and The Constitution were only a few miles away, as was the seashore. So before the age of twelve, I had climbed over “The Rock,” sat on the cannons and climbed the stairs of these historic monuments many times. In junior high, I was shocked at how few of my classmates had even been to one of these local sites I had frequented.

This summer, I decided on rather than one long vacation, a series of Fridays off would give me freedom for long weekends or day trips on a less crowded weekday. So far, this option has created many adventures and opportunities to see novel places and even act as a tourist in Vermont.

Let me be clear – this does not feel like the recent “stay vacation” movement of past years, where a week was spent at home. Or the overall goal was to save money. Rather, I have time for long weekends that are not too far away. Or daytrips where I can be the “visiting” tourist in my own backyard. None of this involves undue planning or plane flights which takes more energy. Long drives leave time for exploration and side roads. No matter that there seems to be construction everywhere in Vermont. None of these excursions are time sensitive.

The result? August is here and I have been to several unfamiliar places and had new experiences. In Vermont, I went to a couple of local festivals from Beer festival to Street festival to a few Vermont state parks. I visited places that had been long remodeled and well touted since I was there a decade ago. I acted like a tourist at the King Arthur Store and Simon Pierce outlet. And I was home in my bed that night. Relaxing and fun.

There was energy to head to the Eastern Townships of Canada – a whole new area I had never experienced. Lakes, scenery and a foreign country all rolled into one. There was a day of photography with friends, a day boating on the lake with a generous friend with a boat and an afternoon ferry ride across the lake to New York to cool off one afternoon.

One weekend, my husband and I went away to Ontario. We had the pleasure of staying with friends a night who introduced us to their main local summer event – The Scottish Highland Games. The music was fabulous! (Thanks Louise and Jamie!) Then, we headed to the city of Ottawa for a night. We caught a street festival of performers and an amazing light show on the Parliament Building. Each night we had fireworks too. A bonus: These unique city events were all free! We came home refreshed after a total change of scenery for a weekend.

Attitude is what has made these days fabulous. And of course, the weather has helped. But the perspective of doing something different and having a day or two of open time meant each trip was rejuvenating.

We all get so caught up in doing activities that we have enjoyed for years that even vacations happen on autopilot. A bit of variety from our way of doing things may just be the ticket we want and need to finish off this summer and move into the cooler months of the fall.

I suggest you try an experience that is different this month. Worried about the cost? Remember the event does not have to be expensive. Festivals are often free. Renting a kayak or bicycle for an hour or two costs less than a dinner out.

And best of all, according to research, experiences mean more to us than buying things. So skip the new purse and take yourself and the crew on a beach day!

No time for more, as we are off to the Addison County Fair!

Enjoy Summer!

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3 Things to Consider before a Prenup

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Love is in the Air: 3 Things to Consider before a Prenup

“Do you know of a good lawyer to do a prenuptial-agreement?” the email from a young, engaged friend of mine seemed simple enough. However, the question lead me to discern that there are several essential discussions needed before they contact a lawyer for a prenup.  

Pre-nup agreements are all the talk in certain circles. You need to ascertain if it is for you – not because you both read it somewhere. (Or God forbid saw the advice from someone on Social Media who was not a financial or legal professional.) 

Discuss these questions together:

  1. Do you need one? Why?

  2. Have we communicated honestly about all our financial information?

  3. Is a prenup recommended by a legal or financial professional who has both of our interests in mind?

Motto for the bride and groom:

We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.
- Phyllis Koss

 

Step 1 – Understand Why You Want a Pre-nup

The typical reason is a disparaging state of life either financially or personally between a couple. One person has deep wealth, ownership in a family business or children, and the other doesn’t. Or one person was married before and feels uncomfortable without one as a result of that settlement. Consider your special circumstances as a couple to understand if you have a valid reason for a legal document.

Then, understand the laws of your state of residence. Most recognize that each person’s assets are their own coming into the marriage and even in the case of a divorce will be able to keep those assets. 

In addition, review the federal laws of marriage. The Government Accountability Office did a study in which they concluded over 1,100 rights were part of the marriage legal relationship. 

 

Step 2 – Sharing All Financial Information With Each Other

Before you commit to a lifetime of marriage, take these steps:

  • Discuss how we are going to handle money, investments and planning for the future- and most of all financial on-going communication. (More on that later.) Put the plan in writing.

  • Change beneficiaries on retirement plans, life insurance and unearth any joint property with someone else so you are both aware of the others financial situation. This also allows for true confessions on debts, savings and other financial commitments.

  • Check credit reports and share with each other. These are the story of your potential spouse before you met. Start your search for the three main reporting agencies and free reports at: www.Annualcreditreport.com

 

With the expectations clearly laid out for your financial lives together, you will start to understand your pending spouses financial ideas and past. Plus, you will both understand each others financial life.

 

Step 3 – Consult an Objective Professional

A lawyer or CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ who is hired by both of you is the best resource before your marriage and to guide you through your years of life together. Having both types of expert as a resource will serve to ease your transitions in the coming years.

A CFP® who both have hired will discuss your concerns around a prenup agreement. They will want you to share the financial plans and goals you have together for an understanding of your situation. Having an objective opinion will allow you to decide how to proceed.

Even before you are married, meet with a lawyer to lay out what your estate plan will say post-marriage. The documents for your will, power of attorney, health care directive and trust if needed can be drafted. Then, you will have had many conversations to get to this point and feel confident about your next steps in marriage and life. (You cannot actually sign it with the lawyer until you are married. I am such a financial nerd, we had ours signed before we went on our honeymoon.)

Also, you may want to consult a pre-nup specialist who serves more as a mediator/consultant to counsel you both. They can draw up the pre-nup if necessary. Laurie Israel is one such specialist, whose book The Generous Prenup discusses what she calls “the prenup myth” – that they are necessary and make marriages better. www.laurieisrael.com

Once you understand your situation and more about prenups, decide what to do next. If you proceed, you will not need one lawyer but two lawyers for a pre-nuptial agreement. Each of you must have your own lawyer to make this a legal document. Essentially, you are two sides of the contract and you will both need to seek representation, which is different from the estate plan you will need to create together for your married life.

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Making the Grade on Your Financial Life

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Congratulations you are on your way to graduating!

Senior Spring- Finishing up Final Exams. Writing your final paper. Planning graduation and the parties… An exciting time filled with fun and promise.

You may be pondering what is next? First, I have the perfect, albeit practical graduation gift for you. My gift to you is some pointers for getting you off on the right foot financially. Like your study habits that got you through college – better to start with good money habits with your first paycheck.

Fun Fact: Did you know that John Rockefeller started giving to charity with his first paycheck?

You can set up a system to last a lifetime. Apply your willingness to learn and try new experiences with the information below.

Listen, I know that in college you bought Ramen noodles by the case load and traveled in packs to places that offered discounts. You are excited about the option of fine dining and doing some traveling. However, do not lose sight of those thrifty skills you acquired in college. More than one recent graduate has been led astray thinking they were making the big bucks and forgetting about the financial basics before making that financial splurge. Start with a monthly overview of what you need to spend and where, rather than just collect a paycheck and spending without thinking.

First, think of your financial life in three parts: present, past, and future. All are important components of your new life. Each has several pieces that need to be addressed to adequately address your financial life.

Think Present

Safety Account

While in college, money came in and went out. All that you really needed was a checking account. You may have had a savings account attached to your checking account where you stored money you did not need immediately. Now, you also want a safety savings account for building a cash reserve. This account will grow slowly as you make contributions regularly either through direct deposit of your paycheck or a deposit in person or on-line. Think of this account as the money you fall back on when the unexpected happens and you need cash to maintain your life: a car accident or loss of job.

Not having enough cash to go out with the gang on Friday night is not cause for touching a safety account.

  • Have a local checking and attached savings account.

  • Open and fund a second savings account without ATM access for emergencies.

Renter’s Insurance

You get home after a long day at work; your laptop is not where you put it. For that matter, your new digital camera is gone. You call the police. Will you ever get your electronics back? Questionable. Who will pay for your new ones? You, unless you have renter’s insurance.

Renter’s insurance pays for your possessions if they are stolen or destroyed by fire. The policy costs just over a hundred dollars a year. You have a flash drive and a portable hard drive; they are one type of insurance, why would you not have renter’s insurance?

If you rent an apartment:

  • Purchase renter’s insurance – available through your local insurance agent who sells car insurance. Or ask your landlord the insurance professional they recommend.

  • After you pay a deductible of $250, the insurance company will reimburse you for anything stolen or damaged due to theft or fire above that amount.

  • The policy is available for pennies a day. Get it!

Health Insurance

You finish college and it is time to explore health insurance. Many young adults have coverage until they turn 26, others do not. If you are not covered by their health insurance. What do you do?

  • Learn the lingo about on the health insurance front: deductibles, pre-exsisting conditions, and premiums.

  • Consider a job with health benefits.

  • Check out your state’s health plan. Many states have coverage for the under or unemployed at discounted rates.

  • Consider Catastrophe Medical Insurance for in-between coverage:

    • Designed to cover a major accident or illness.

    • Temporary –usually up to three years of coverage available

    • Policies are inexpensive- often as low as $60 a month.

    • Deductibles are high- $25,000.

    • Minimum health insurance you need while in transition.

Think Past

Student Loans

Unless you are walking off the stage and accepting a huge signing bonus that covers your student loans, then you need to start looking at what you will be paying, what you owe, and how to make it happen. If you have no student loans, you can read on to the next section.

Your federal student loan payments may not require monthly payments until six months after graduation. If you are employed, do not wait six months to start looking at that bill. Start right away by writing a check for that amount. For the first six months, put the check in your safety account. This will help build up the safety account. Most importantly, you will not rise to a level of spending and lifestyle only to have to change it six months down the road.

Make the list of important student loan information and keep your debt information organized.


Other Loans

Line up all your paperwork on your loans. If some are in your parents’ name and you are required to pay, get that information too. Write a list of each loan, the full amount you owe, the interest rate, monthly payment and the term or time you will be paying. Having this on one page or one spreadsheet will help guide you to an understanding of your financial responsibilities. (See above)

If you are traveling, planning on graduate school or still unclear on your plans, talk to the loan company, or find out the details on the web to determine if you can defer payments, how to do it, and how long it can last. Federal loans tend to allow you to defer. Private loans often do not, so you may need to find a temporary job right away to pay the monthly loan.

Credit Cards

Be careful - there is only one entity that is getting a deal on these cards. That is the credit card company. Used wisely, these are a nice tool to have. However, no one needs more than two credit cards. And consider in our society of immediate gratification, credit cards are overused and often lead to abuse.

Get credit savvy:

  • Know what interest rate you are paying on your credit cards. You can find this in your statement.

  • Protect yourself by writing a check immediately after using the card. Taking the money out of your checkbook creates no surprises when the bill comes.

  • If you are already swimming in credit card debt, stop using your card. Use the steps from the student loan section above to lay out what you owe and when.

  • Create a plan to pay off the credit card debt you now have.

Credit Score

On a college campus, you often cannot get away with anything. There are always people around. Professors know each other and you have more dorm mates than close friends. You know news travels fast. Your credit score works the same way, someone is always watching.

Good financial actions get reported to credit reporting agencies:

  • Timely payments of student loans, credit card debt and car loans

  • Your credit history for all loans paid in the past are recorded.

Financial actions get reported and negatively affect your credit score:

  • Not paying the overdraft fees on your checking account

  • Late payments to your credit card, student loans or car loans

Financial mismanagement can work against you and gets documented on your credit report. Keep your credit score solid by being attentive to your financial life. A credit score will affect your ability to buy a house, get capital to start a business and even some offers of employment. Often, landlords use credit reports when considering you as a tenant.

You need never pay for your credit information. Your credit score is based on your credit reports. So, you need only look at your credit reports – I recommend annually. They are free for you to see and confirm they are correct. Learn more at: www.annualcreditreport.com.

Think Future:

Job Choice

Deciding on a job is a critical time. Do not forget to ask what employee benefits are provided as part of the job. The better benefit package a company offers may not make their salary look competitive. When comparing opportunities, review all aspects of what the company is offering you.

Then when you start, sign up for the benefits and take advantage of them. The benefits an employer may offer you include:

  • Health Insurance

  • Disability Insurance

  • Life Insurance

  • Retirement Investment Options

Disability Insurance

This pays you if you are off the job due to injury or illness. Some companies provide it as part of their benefit package. Some require you to pay a minimum each month to get coverage. This insurance pays you a part of your monthly salary if you are out of work due to disability.

Although this type of insurance does not seem to fit a healthy twenty-year-old, the majority of disability claims are from 25–36-year-olds. Think last time you were mountain biking, skiing through the trees, or diving. If those close calls had happened, then being out of work would cost you in more ways than one. Younger people tend to be more active, so need disability insurance too.

Life Insurance

This insurance pays an amount to someone you designate upon your death. Think about who you would benefit most from this added cash. Your best friend may come to mind. However, review your student loans. Federal student loan requirements typically stop at your death. If your parents co-signed any of them, they will be responsible for paying for the loans even after you die. Choose your beneficiary wisely.

Retirement Plan

Start funding your retirement right away. Even though you are young, this one good habit can pay off for a lifetime.

  • Saves income taxes.

  • Builds investments for your future.

  • Provides hands-on learning about investments.

  • Some companies provide a match in dollars if you contribute.

Roommates

One young client of mine could not afford a studio in Boston and still pay student loans and have discretionary money. I discussed the possibilities of roommates so she could keep her financial commitments. Sharing expenses stretches your paycheck and makes financial sense. Instead, she took a second job on weekends so she could live alone. Remember:

  • You always have financial options.

  • Take the one that works for you.

On Graduation Day, enjoy knowing you are prepared to take on your financial world. The cash that makes its way into your graduation cards can be used in multiple ways to jump start your financial life. You can start your safety account, fund your apartment’s security deposit, or pay off some debt, along with having some extra fun.

You are moving into a new world filled with fun, challenges, and opportunities. This does not carry a grade. There will be no final exams or papers. The outcome does affect your life. The financial decisions you make as you enter the post college world can make your road easier in the years ahead or trip you up a bit. Keep these financial tips handy to get started and keep your financial stash growing.

Follow Your Dreams

Starting a business is not for the faint of heart. Nor is pursuing any vision you have for your life. Following your dreams involves considerable learning and preparation. Believing in yourself is where it begins.

From there, know that lessons will be learned. There are ebbs and flows of money, people and joy. Following your heart’s desire makes it easier, not easy. The life lessons are invaluable no wonder what endeavor you strive to achieve.

Here are the lessons I learned along the way:

1 Go for your dreams.

Have a plan for your life and your dream. I worked part-time for an old boss doing auditing for almost a year before I made a living in my business.

2. Starting a business is not done in a day.

A business plan takes time to create. Gathering resources and equipment to do your business is critical and time consuming. Allow a period of time to unfold rather than thinking you are starting your business on the day you decide to establish it.

3. Know who your supporters are.

My parents had taken the leap thirty years before me. So, I knew when I went to complain or was stressed about this undertaking, they would listen. They may not understand the details of my profession, but they had been there. (Unlike another relative who had told me, “Get a job then,” when I vented at the kitchen table. She had not ever been a part of a small business.) Experience makes the greatest supporters.

4. Build a network.

Gratefully, right off I was welcomed into an informal group of wonderful women who were all fabulous Certified Financial Planners. Were they competition? Maybe but not really. We were all different and supportive of each other and referred to each other. That experience led me to New England Women’s Business Owners (NEWBO) where I met other women in different careers but sharing the same challenges.

5. Get experience.

Before I started my own financial consulting business, I worked for two other firms that did financial planning. They may not have been the best paying jobs but the experience I received helped me be clear on how I wanted to work and what was important for the vision of the business.

6. Seek an education.

In graduate school, I learned the importance of a business plan. Laying down on paper what I wanted to do created clarity. In addition, already having attained a Certified Financial Planner designation gave me, and therefore my new business, credibility from the get go.

For me, owning a business has been an honor because of the people I serve.

Go for your dream. Be Practical. Be Patient.

Being Fair & Why You Need to Care

My sisters graduated from high school in 1974 and 1972. The Fair Credit Act was just being talked about and implemented. This gave women the right to equal status in banking, credit and therefore, home ownership among other important financial life building.

Their children are now in their thirties so that was only a generation away. Given how long new legislation weaves itself into the our society, fifty years is not that long. So many women are still challenged in this area. Whether they were raised in families where men did the money or were not encouraged to be independent, past history can impact life though it is not too late to change. Ever.

The best way for women to claim what you have as talents and treasure is to not undermine your skills or misuse or misrepresent your treasure. Empower ourselves to learn more and be more of who we are. Our men too can do this for themselves and for the women they love.

My parents were of a different generation and led the way in our home. My Dad was raised with six sisters by a strong Mom who held their poor farming family together. He learned more about women in that family to set the basis for his life time – and prepared him to have three daughters.

My parents always wanted us to act like “Ladies and Gentleman.” Though my parents sentiments were set on their 1950s coming of age, my Dad saw no reason that his daughters were not equal. He expected them to have equal rights when it came to home ownership, banking and salary, which is how he treated my Mom. I can still recall his shock when he learned from me in the late 90s that there was a gender pay gap. My Dad has been dead almost fifteen years. Women are still receiving 70% to each of men’s dollar earnings. Gender Pay Gap Widens as Women Age (census.gov)

In 1972, Title Nine was a game changer for young women in school sports (pun intended.) The Fair Credit Act was a major shift for the life of all women in 1974. The impact was felt across business, banking the United States but that does not mean everything has changed. My Sister, Title IX and Me (Next Avenue)

Rights of women still vary across our world. Driving, voting and face coverings are political points in some countries. Today’s women in power create press attention. I welcome the day in society when media stories do not mention inequality or the “the first women….”

On a recent 60 Minutes episode, I learned about SOLA. This is a school for Afghan girls in Rwanda. With the Taliban again in power in Afghanistan, the country becomes the only one in the world that does not allow women to be educated. Watch 60 Minutes: Kherson Under Fire, The Girls of SOLA

We are not out of the woods yet. Let’s not have the power in legislation we gained in the US in the Seventies stop there. Let’s use our voices and financial power to help the causes that resonate with us. We as women and all our supporters- fathers, husbands, partners, friends and brothers – have got us to this point.

Let’s take care of ourselves and others to grow our talents and treasure for all good – whether giving to charity, helping a woman up or creating a strong independent life. This is all financial and personal. Celebrate and act with the thought of International Women’s Day in your life every day.

If you want to read more on this legislation and the financial progress of women during this March which is women’s history month. Check out this article

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Financial TLC

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Financial TLC

February is the month we associate with love, caring and cuddling, because of Valentine’s Day. Yet, Love is always in fashion. Love of yourself, your partner, your family and your friends reign throughout the year. 

This month I want you to give yourself some Tender Loving Care. Whether you are coupled, single or searching, taking care of yourself is critical. I want to encourage Financial TLC. In the midst of the life, we often forget to take care of the details. True TLC is the key to a solid financial life.

What is financial TLC?

Transparency

Be honest about money: with yourself, with each other, and with loved ones. Write down and review where your financial life stands: income, debt, investments, bills. Looking at the list in black and white often gives you a reality check that no other system can. This is critical to share with yourself first and foremost. You need to know where you stand and what your commitments are.

Your partner needs to know as relationships are tied together. In marriage, you are bound legally. Even if you are not married you may have shared commitments like rent, pets, and family. Knowing about the other commitments your partner has makes assessing your situation a lot clearer.

Link the Details Together

Know what the accounts are and where to find them for each other. And be sure the bills are in both names.

If you are single, you may feel you are only responsible to yourself so there is nothing else for you to do. Your details will matter to your loved one if you were critically ill or die suddenly. They would have to pull the pieces together. So have a file with the details that they would have to know to handle your financial life. Tuck away the details. You do not have to share everything but let someone who loves you know where they are.

Conversation - Caring Conversation.  

There is embarrassment, there is past money flaws, there are emotions involved around money. We all have them. The secret is not to let them rule your life. The best way to do this is to share them in a way that works for you. This may be journaling, therapy or a good heart to heart with a friend. If you are part of a couple, talking to your partner is not optional, it is a necessity. Financial intimacy is as critical as any other part of your relationship. 

The bottom line is love relationships are impacted by money. TLC is investing some time in your money relationship. TLC and honesty with yourself and others will demonstrate love on many levels.